Scott Fights Climate Change
Proposes Increasing the Freezing Point
NAPLES, Florida - Florida Governor Rick Scott today announced his strategy to deal with climate change and its effects upon Florida.
"My initiative calls for increasing the hallmark temperatures of water, the standard by which global warming is measured," Scott announced today at a press conference at his gulf-side mansion in Naples.
"Beginning with my re-election, the official boiling point of water will be increased from 212-degrees to 250-degrees F, and the freezing point increased from 32-degrees to 50-degrees F."
Scott explained that with a freezing point of 50-degrees, icebergs will melt more slowly, and sea level change will be reduced for his state. Florida has more than 2000-miles of coastline, he reminded us.
Additionally, Scott pointed out Florida's hot summers, which have discouraged tourism, will now average 85-degress rather than 95-degrees.
"This will be a boon to hotels, restaurants and the tourism industry generally. Our carbon footprint will be reduced due to the lower demand on air conditioning."
Scott promises the tax revenues generated by the increased tourism will offset the cost of changing Florida's thermometers.
"This is not a step I take lightly," Scott said in closing, pointing out this change was inspired by daylight savings time.
"The best minds of my administration have worked long and hard on this.
"Climate change is real, and I intend to do something about it."
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